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MY DREAM MAN 1

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MY DREAM MAN

Dream man. My name is Mrs. Clara, I am 33 years old, at 32 I was still a miss

yes I was a miss because I was never married nor lived with a

man before and not that I was a single mother either.

At the age of 32, I was still a virgin not that I wanted to stay till

that age that way but because my dream man was still in the

dream land. Now this is my story.

It all started when I was a kid , I used to see men maltreating

their wives and some cheating on their wives including my dad, I

was scared of men and with that, I was discourage to go into a

relationship with any guy, I only kept friends, and I never felt

lonely with that, I didn’t see any reason to go into a relationship

nor flirt with any guy because my friends where always there for

me even as my friends, where advising me to give it a try, I said

to it cause I was happy that way.

On one faithful day, I went for a seminar on single-dating-

marriage during the seminar, the speaker spoke on knowing your

dream man.

People were busy asking questions and answers were given to it.

When I got home from that day, I decided to give relationship a

try.

I met one guy on internet by name Daniel. Daniel was a tall

handsome fair guy, he was in his 20’s studying mechanical

Engineering.

I was 18years by then but wasn’t in school yet.

I and Daniel where just online friends, but he was an annoying

type, and him being annoying type was one of the reason I was

attracted to him, so I felt in love with him I wanted telling him

but there were questions going through my mind, one of them

was,” what if you tell him and he make fun of you? What if you

are not his type or you are not beautiful enough? With these

questions, I kept how I was feeling to myself; I started avoiding

him at times when he comes online to chat.

One day I was in a café then I saw Daniel walking into the café,

he didn’t notice me at first, but I recognized him cause I had

many of his photos on my phone, I decided to call him but i

couldn’t because I was shy from the number of people that where

present in that café with us, so I choose to concentrate on what I

was doing, few minute later, an image walked up to me and

called me by my name, when I turned to look who it was, behold

it was him, I was happy so I smile at him, then we had a chat for

about 30 minutes, so he later decided to drop me home since I

was done in the café, I was very happy inside me but I was afraid

of my parent seeing me with a guy, so I refused his offer from

there, we parted ways but before we did that, we exchanged

contacts and we promised to chat with each other at night which

we did.

Few months later, he asked me to be his girlfriend, which I didn’t

hesitate to say yes to him perhaps is what I’ve been longing for,

so we where together for a year.

During the period of our relationship, I told him let’s take things

slowing, which he agreed to it, he told me he was going to wait

till the right that I was ready. We were happy, (I guess)

But one day things started changing, he started posting difference

kinds of girl’s photos on his social media, when I asked him, he

told me that they were just friends nothing more.

I didn’t believe him but I gave up asking so that he won’t feel

somehow, but still he didn’t stopped, same that week, a girl

posted a picture and tag him, in that photo, it was him and the

girl making out, I was lost, I didn’t know what to think any more

until his friends started writing negative comments on the picture

and he replied to one by saying “man must be a man”

I never understood that statement not until I got into college, I

was hurt, deeply I was heartbroken I started recalling the reasons

why I was alone till I met Daniel, but I didn’t conclude

immediately, cause we were still together, I waited to see if he

was going to change because of my feelings, but hell no, he didn’t

care about how I felt so he decided not to change, so the love I

had for him started diminishing gradually.

When I entered school, I saw difference kinds of guys even those

that where even worse than Daniel. So I decided to buy a diary.

In my diary, I started writing about the qualities I needed in a

man (my dream kind of man).

I studied a four years course in college, and at the end of my four

years in college, I never had a boyfriend not because no guy

came to me, but because I didn’t see my Mr. perfect kind of

dream man among all that came my way. But I never lose hope, I

was still believing that one day I will come in contact with him.

I was 23 years when I graduated from college, as a first class

material, I went for service and came back yet, no dream man

found.

I wasn’t myself anymore because I was 24 years I was suppose

to have a man in my life, but no, I didn’t. I was retained in my

college to work there as a lecturer.

In my period of working as a lecturer, I still had guys coming my

way but they were not still match to my criteria kind of man.

Eight years later, I was invited to a motivational program, I didn’t

want to go because it was a program like this that was putting me

in the situation I was. But after few days, I happened to step on

the hand bill which was given to me, so I decided to attend, it

was a 3-day program, but I said to myself “even if is just once”. I

didn’t attend the first day the program started but I attended the

second day.

When I reached there, the topic was “WHO ARE YOU”? when I

heard the topic I already concluded that it was going about

entrepreneurship how to established yourself etc.

so I wasn’t interested, as a lecturer, I was doing well, my earning

was okay for me. All I needed was a family of my own. So I stood

up I was about walking out, when I heard the

speaker saying

“HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF BEING A BETTER YOU”?

When I heard that, I sat back to listen to her point. Truly,

everything she said was about me, I was busy writing down the

kind of man I wanted, what I like and dislike in a guy etc but I

never for once think of being a better me by using the list of my

want in my dream man on my own self. I gave chance to my past

to control my mode of thinking. I never thought of starting with

myself until that day.

When I got home, I had to reopen my life chapters and checked

page by pages. I started working on myself, my behavior with

men, my character, my life style, I stopped believing that all men

where the same, I started being the real me.

One year later, I met Doctor Kelvin when I went for my normal

check up to know the developments on my body. Doctor Kelvin

was a well respected man, he was cute not too tall but at least,

he was taller than me. At 33, I was now desperate, but instead of

ending up with anyone that came my way at that time of

desperation, end up with my dream man. Doctor Kelvin was just

my doctor and a friend, someone I could share my story with, but

what I never knew was that, my dream man was always in front

of me but as my doctor friend, all I needed was to work on myself

and be myself.

From that day I started working on myself, my life style, my

sense of reasoning, I met my Mr. perfect and now I discover that

it wasn’t a dream man I needed but a real man. Today, I am

happily married.

LESSON:

BE WHO YOU ARE, THE REAL YOU.

WORK ON YOURSELF, YOUR CHARACTER, YOUR SENSE OF

REASONING.

DON’T EXPECT TO HAVE WHAT YOU CAN’T OFFER.

END

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