MY DREAM MAN
Dream man. My name is Mrs. Clara, I am 33 years old, at 32 I was still a miss
yes I was a miss because I was never married nor lived with a
man before and not that I was a single mother either.
At the age of 32, I was still a virgin not that I wanted to stay till
that age that way but because my dream man was still in the
dream land. Now this is my story.
It all started when I was a kid , I used to see men maltreating
their wives and some cheating on their wives including my dad, I
was scared of men and with that, I was discourage to go into a
relationship with any guy, I only kept friends, and I never felt
lonely with that, I didn’t see any reason to go into a relationship
nor flirt with any guy because my friends where always there for
me even as my friends, where advising me to give it a try, I said
to it cause I was happy that way.
On one faithful day, I went for a seminar on single-dating-
marriage during the seminar, the speaker spoke on knowing your
dream man.
People were busy asking questions and answers were given to it.
When I got home from that day, I decided to give relationship a
try.
I met one guy on internet by name Daniel. Daniel was a tall
handsome fair guy, he was in his 20’s studying mechanical
Engineering.
I was 18years by then but wasn’t in school yet.
I and Daniel where just online friends, but he was an annoying
type, and him being annoying type was one of the reason I was
attracted to him, so I felt in love with him I wanted telling him
but there were questions going through my mind, one of them
was,” what if you tell him and he make fun of you? What if you
are not his type or you are not beautiful enough? With these
questions, I kept how I was feeling to myself; I started avoiding
him at times when he comes online to chat.
One day I was in a café then I saw Daniel walking into the café,
he didn’t notice me at first, but I recognized him cause I had
many of his photos on my phone, I decided to call him but i
couldn’t because I was shy from the number of people that where
present in that café with us, so I choose to concentrate on what I
was doing, few minute later, an image walked up to me and
called me by my name, when I turned to look who it was, behold
it was him, I was happy so I smile at him, then we had a chat for
about 30 minutes, so he later decided to drop me home since I
was done in the café, I was very happy inside me but I was afraid
of my parent seeing me with a guy, so I refused his offer from
there, we parted ways but before we did that, we exchanged
contacts and we promised to chat with each other at night which
we did.
Few months later, he asked me to be his girlfriend, which I didn’t
hesitate to say yes to him perhaps is what I’ve been longing for,
so we where together for a year.
During the period of our relationship, I told him let’s take things
slowing, which he agreed to it, he told me he was going to wait
till the right that I was ready. We were happy, (I guess)
But one day things started changing, he started posting difference
kinds of girl’s photos on his social media, when I asked him, he
told me that they were just friends nothing more.
I didn’t believe him but I gave up asking so that he won’t feel
somehow, but still he didn’t stopped, same that week, a girl
posted a picture and tag him, in that photo, it was him and the
girl making out, I was lost, I didn’t know what to think any more
until his friends started writing negative comments on the picture
and he replied to one by saying “man must be a man”
I never understood that statement not until I got into college, I
was hurt, deeply I was heartbroken I started recalling the reasons
why I was alone till I met Daniel, but I didn’t conclude
immediately, cause we were still together, I waited to see if he
was going to change because of my feelings, but hell no, he didn’t
care about how I felt so he decided not to change, so the love I
had for him started diminishing gradually.
When I entered school, I saw difference kinds of guys even those
that where even worse than Daniel. So I decided to buy a diary.
In my diary, I started writing about the qualities I needed in a
man (my dream kind of man).
I studied a four years course in college, and at the end of my four
years in college, I never had a boyfriend not because no guy
came to me, but because I didn’t see my Mr. perfect kind of
dream man among all that came my way. But I never lose hope, I
was still believing that one day I will come in contact with him.
I was 23 years when I graduated from college, as a first class
material, I went for service and came back yet, no dream man
found.
I wasn’t myself anymore because I was 24 years I was suppose
to have a man in my life, but no, I didn’t. I was retained in my
college to work there as a lecturer.
In my period of working as a lecturer, I still had guys coming my
way but they were not still match to my criteria kind of man.
Eight years later, I was invited to a motivational program, I didn’t
want to go because it was a program like this that was putting me
in the situation I was. But after few days, I happened to step on
the hand bill which was given to me, so I decided to attend, it
was a 3-day program, but I said to myself “even if is just once”. I
didn’t attend the first day the program started but I attended the
second day.
When I reached there, the topic was “WHO ARE YOU”? when I
heard the topic I already concluded that it was going about
entrepreneurship how to established yourself etc.
so I wasn’t interested, as a lecturer, I was doing well, my earning
was okay for me. All I needed was a family of my own. So I stood
up I was about walking out, when I heard the
speaker saying
“HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF BEING A BETTER YOU”?
When I heard that, I sat back to listen to her point. Truly,
everything she said was about me, I was busy writing down the
kind of man I wanted, what I like and dislike in a guy etc but I
never for once think of being a better me by using the list of my
want in my dream man on my own self. I gave chance to my past
to control my mode of thinking. I never thought of starting with
myself until that day.
When I got home, I had to reopen my life chapters and checked
page by pages. I started working on myself, my behavior with
men, my character, my life style, I stopped believing that all men
where the same, I started being the real me.
One year later, I met Doctor Kelvin when I went for my normal
check up to know the developments on my body. Doctor Kelvin
was a well respected man, he was cute not too tall but at least,
he was taller than me. At 33, I was now desperate, but instead of
ending up with anyone that came my way at that time of
desperation, end up with my dream man. Doctor Kelvin was just
my doctor and a friend, someone I could share my story with, but
what I never knew was that, my dream man was always in front
of me but as my doctor friend, all I needed was to work on myself
and be myself.
From that day I started working on myself, my life style, my
sense of reasoning, I met my Mr. perfect and now I discover that
it wasn’t a dream man I needed but a real man. Today, I am
happily married.
LESSON:
BE WHO YOU ARE, THE REAL YOU.
WORK ON YOURSELF, YOUR CHARACTER, YOUR SENSE OF
REASONING.
DON’T EXPECT TO HAVE WHAT YOU CAN’T OFFER.
END
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