The truth is that with 80%, marriage can’t change someone so stop trying to change your partner.
One mistake that most young people do make is thinking that they still have time at hand so, with that, they have to enjoy it before marriage, and change will come later.
Yeah, if you are not ready to be changed, you will carry it to your new home thinking that you are still with your parents.
If you don’t learn to change now, changing in your marriage will be very hard for you and with that, it will be frustrating.
Marriage can only make one adjust but marriage can’t change someone. You are a good guy and you end up with a lady who can’t avoid a fight on the street and you expect her to come and change, that’s you playing a bet which is under probability.
It will take the grace of God and love for the woman not to tear you apart.
Before choosing a partner, compatibility matters a lot… It does not mean that you and your spouse have to do everything the same but it can mean having the same common goal, hobby, likes and dislikes, etc.
Ensure that at least you have something in common with your man/woman before settling down don’t say he will come and change and like what I like and dislike what I dislike or she will come and change and join me in my own goals and leave hers……
A good partner does not look for someone he or she will come and change. learn to accept someone just the way they are… That is you, loving them. If you can’t put on with the person, then it is better you don’t start.
Marriage was not to be 100% tolerated but to be enjoyed. Enjoy your marriage and have good health not act as if you are happy while you are not because you are tolerating your partner to avoid people talking.
Compromise is what takes place in marriages, not tolerance… Compromise is you trying to make things work with your partner while Tolerance is you trying to make things work out all by yourself.
Let there be a good reason why you should compromise, it is your marriage, the way you handle it is what determines if it’s good or not.
A few things that people tolerate are;
1 Dirtiness: If you are someone that loves keeping your environment clean at all times, it will be hard for you to put on with someone who does not understand the need of keeping his or her surroundings clean at all times.
In this, you will only try to wait for the person to change and learn how to comply with you.
2 Stinginess: Marrying a man or woman that is stingy while you are not, will only bring problems to the house because when you give out, it looks like you are wasting whatever you are giving out.
If you are a woman maybe you are not working and it is only your husband that is working, there will be a problem because he is the one making the money and providing for the home so once you give it out to someone, it will be referred to as wasting resources.
So, since marriage can’t change someone, it is better you marry someone that you have at least 70-80% something in common it will help your home stay at peace.
3 Physical Abuse: some married women endure their marriage because of their children. It is not because the marriage turned to what they expected but there has no choice but to endure for the welfare of their kids.
Men who abuse ladies both physically, emotionally, etc, do find it difficult to change. it is better he changes during your courtship than after the wedding you expect that he will change.
The possibility of change is always one of the reasons ladies end up marrying a man who abuses them because they thought they will change.
Don’t expect someone to change just because of you, ensure that whoever you want to marry has a common goal with you.
4 Temper: Bad temper may not only have to do with people who can’t control their anger, it can also have to do with people who choose to sort out issues in the wrong way.
for example, they are people that are good at keeping malice, so instead of telling you what or how they feel, they decide to keep it to their selves.
This kind of temper is not good for couples who want to make their marriage work.
5 Unfaithfulness: cheating is a natural thing because it is natural. So I will ask, between men and women who cheat the most?? You can answer that later.
Read Also: Why A Man Leaves His Wife For Another Woman: 5 Outstanding Ways To Prevent It
Faithfulness is a choice, so if you meet someone who decides to be faithful to you, value it.
It is not because he or she cannot cheat, but it is because they don’t want to cheat.
Ladies, please guide your heart. A man who can’t or does not want to change will always carry the mindset of men are polygamous in nature and men like that, avoid them except you are strong enough.
6 Family background: There are couples that endure those abusive marriages because of their partner’s background. It might be by the business connection between the family or otherwise.
This is a condition that does make many ladies stay even when they want to exit, they just can’t because of their parents.
7 Character: Your character speaks a lot about you. What you display can speak a lot about you. Therefore, fix your character before you go into marriage.
And if you are choosing a life partner try and ensure that you can stand their character because that’s if an issue can be settled or started in the home.
8 Consider what the Bible says: (2 Cor. 6:14) If you are a Christian don’t marry an unbeliever, there is nothing like he or she will change because he may change for the moment but later, he will go back to who he was.
So ensure that you are marrying for the right purpose, not for condition. Marry someone that have the same beliefs as you.
Marry someone that looks like you, You will not marry wrong.
9 Signs: ( Prov. 18:22) When you find the right person, there is always a sign. And one of them is an open door.
When you find who is for you, a lot of good things will be happening around you, struggling is going to be far from you. When you find a good partner, you find good things. What Men Want In A Woman: 6 Things to lookout
Don’t try to tolerate it if you haven’t seen the sign.
One thing you should know is that if your doors begin locking and struggling starts, it is not a good sign.
Don’t go into marriage because all your friends are married or because your parents are after you, etc. Just drop desperation so that you will enjoy your marriage without expecting a big change from your partner in the future.
Husband says he will change but doesn’t
In something like this, you can’t blame the man because every spouse needs a partner that will accept them just the way they are without trying to change them completely.
But if he is ready to change, You will have to give him time and allow him to start the initiative before you can back him up.
My partner wants me to change, what can I do?
The answer to this question is up to you to decide. Do you think that your partner deserves those changes from you? Do you think that you will be happy in changing to become who he or she wants you to be? Is that what you want too?
Think of these questions and then decide later.
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