1 of Christopher’s love story

February 22, 2024 by Joy Ekpouko

LOVE STORY WRITING

This is my love story

Hello, my name is Christopher from Aguata of Anambra state but my mother is from Delta from which she was married from.

Delta state, have good women just like my mother, Therefore with that insight, the relationship between me and Delta state people became so tight.

So with that, I always told myself that I was going to marry from there due to my mother’s life style towards my father. They both loved and respected their union.

One day, it was weekend, I woke up from sleep and it was like a special day for me, I was so happy and having a beautiful lyrics “IF” by Davido, a Nigeria singer in my mind and if one should ask me why that smiling face.

Seriously I couldn’t have said reasonable answer till when I stepped out as usual to meet my friends whom I don’t normally have chance to visit or see because of the nature of work.

As I was on my way my eyes turned as if its turned on its own to the left side, behold what my eye saw, a beautiful damsel standing by waiting for her friends to come as well before they take off and by her actions and statements you can tell.

Wow!!! I couldn’t stand it anymore, I had to approach her with immediate action and as a young looking responsible and handsome guy (smiles) I gained her attention and from there we became friends.

One blissful day, I called her on phone and we planned on a date. As we later met at Genesis restaurant, we had Lunch together and summarized it with a gist.

As days went by, my feelings for her started growing and the love, falling like a river and I began to think over these sudden feelings for her.

It is true that she is beautiful and every man’s desire but I think I don’t have to rush this,

but this thing kept ringing in my mind and each time she come across my mind, I will find myself smiling and happiness was unmeasurable just like the faithful day I saw her.

So I decided to reveal this to my very good friend called Seun, a Yoruba guy. Seun is a psychologist by profession.

tyler nix qs0im4pLYbE unsplash — image. Tyler

He told me that if I was very excited without knowing why I was excited one morning as I said, and that same day I met her and accepted becoming my friend that means she was not only the source of my happiness but whom nature has designed for me as my woman to be.

He over convinced me with this saying or adage that

“when your own comes you will know”,

he told me that my eye saw my own and decided to show me.

He ended with words of encouragement but I was still asking myself several questions meaning I was not too sure

For the fact I assured myself that I will marry from Delta state and I became excess confused as the friendship continues.

This lady started showing more care day by day but was afraid to tell her how I felt for her as well.

A faithful day, I decided to give a trial and called her out for a Lunch and there, I asked her to be my woman and promised to love her without condition.

And behold she was confused seeing me as an Igbo man proposing to her an Akwa Ibom lady and she asked being in state of dilemma “why do you prefer me amongst other beautiful ladies in Your own land?

I laughed and told her that nature should answer that one! and she smiled and accepted.

The relationship was moving smoothly and enjoyable and truly she was a good woman that every good man would love to and because she grew up in a family that has fear of God and discipline.

She became so different from every other lady have ever met. There was something in her that kept drawing me to her even in this stage of confusion I just can’t help myself than to keep thinking about us what we shared was special.

This courtship was a year plus (+) when I decided to perform her rites and take her to the alter when my mother insisted that nothing will make me marry from that state and if I should, then I have to kill her first.

Behold the whole members of the family was in support of this. but what will I do. My mother may kill herself.

One day my mother whom I so much love and always obey her commands and try to fulfill her wished called me for a private conversation.

To my greatest surprise she tried to convinced me and trust mothers, they can even cry to make you pity them and have their wishes fulfilled.

I became so confused and more daily. I don’t know how to meet my girlfriend and tell her we can’t marry anymore.

I so much love her and I can’t withstand her cries because it touches me so badly.

She is the woman of my choice and for months I have been with her, we never had nor even a frown face for each other except we are playing.

My mother from the other side has gotten a beautiful woman from Delta, a place I always wish to marry from before I met my girl from Akwa Ibom.

The truth is that, I have never disobeyed my mother because she sacrifices a lot for me to be who I am today but now my happiness and fulfillment is found in a particular family in Akwa Ibom.

this is my love story, but currently, I am in state of dilemma, does this still make me a baby at my age? please I need your advice now like mad!

If you were in this situation that I am right now, what will you do? help a brother with advice that can change his love story please. thanks for reading.

SIGNS THAT YOU ARE GETTING DUMPED

Tips for a successful relationship

qualities of a good man

SIGNS YOU WERE NEVER IN LOVE

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How To Spice Up Your Marriage In 20 Outstanding Ways

February 22, 2024 by Joy Ekpouko

Tips To Spice Up Your Marriage

It is one thing to fall in love it is another to fall out of love not because you want that to happen but because the species in the marriage is long gone thereby leaving you and your spouse the chard which cannot and does not have what it takes to help in keeping your home.

Having a wonderful wedding, with VIP’s friends is not the conclusion that your marriage will be wonderful but doing a few things to spice up your marriage after the wedding night can help to sustain your home even when you don’t know the effect of it.

There are so many ways to spice up your marriage but we will go with a few of them for now.

Therefore, How to Do You Spice Up Your Marriage/relationship
Let’s start first with the lady’s aspect but go into the men’s aspect.

1. Learn How To S*duce Your Husband: being shy in this aspect won’t help you therefore, the earlier you suppressed that shyness, the better for you and your home.

He is your husband so wanting him is not a sin, is a kind of ingredient which is necessary for you to build your marriage.
Make your husband know that you want him just as he wants you. Don’t make him always be the one to make the first move at all times.

Things that can help you s*duce your husband

1. Wear a s*ductive nightgown that he can’t resist

2. Fresh up by taking your evening bath so has to smell well.

3. Get yourself a nice body perfume.

4. If you are at home with just him, dress in a way that is calling and not using a wrapper around your chest, and be walking around the house like someone without a destination.

5. Use nice and clean under clothing, it is a turn-on. Don’t go and use one kind of outdated undies that will only remind your partner of your financial status.

2. Check upon him: he went to work from 7 a.m till 8:30 pm, no call, no text nothing… No that’s not it, if he is busy, then drop him a short love or a short missing you text message to remind him that someone special is missing him and is waiting patiently to meet him at home after work.

This magic works, try it and see. It is a sign that you love and also want him also.

3. Learn how to cook: a woman who controls a man’s stomach has the power to control his heart. Learning how to cook just because your husband is a nice move. It will be taboo if you are not good in the kitchen and also not good in the bedroom.

4. Surprise him with his favorite: knowing your spouse’s likes and dislikes is a big plus to helping the love to grow. But how??

For example, if your husband’s favorite food is a salad, find a day, prepare a salad for him when returning from work, put enough in his plate, serve him if you can even feed him with the first spoon, then do it but ensure that he knows that the night or that period was special and the meal was for him.

Am telling you, the way he will be smiling both in and out can be the same you saw on your wedding night.

5. Dressing: dress nice that your man can not take his eyes off you even in public. Dress to remind your man that you still have the package and you are still very active. With that, he won’t look outside even if he had the intention to.

As a man:

1. Be R*mantic: Ladies don’t dress because they just feel like Dressing, they dress because they want to look good for themselves and also for you as their spouse.

Therefore how can you be r*mantic??

There are many ways to be r*mantic but then I will just go with a few.

1. Your dress sense: don’t make her be the only one trying to look good for you every time try and also reciprocate.
You may not have many clothes but learn how to combine the few you have. Is an additional mark on your physical appearance. If you dress and your partner doesn’t look at you twice, then change that dress because it doesn’t carry the charm of captivation.

2. Phone calls: there is a way you can check on your woman and it doesn’t sound or look like you are feeling insecure.
Call her, text her with little messages reminding her how much you love her. how you value her, how special she is, how lucky you are to have her in your life, and lastly, for now, let her know her worth and position in your life.

Don’t only call her when you are looking for something at home and you want to confirm from her where to find it.

And also don’t only call her when you want her to get something for you or for the house when she is coming back to the house. Try and be r*mantic at least once and see the charm working in your home.

3. Call Her Sweet names: If you love your woman, a name shouldn’t be a problem because you will not be looking for a name to call her since she means everything to you.

Don’t call your woman a name and attach your child’s name to her example, Mummy Samuel, mummy Junior, Mummy P, etc… Call her sweet names that will always make her smile anytime she hears them from you.

Example: My precious, treasure, my queen, baby, Imaima(my love), Akemmi (My own), Darling, sweetheart, my lady, etc.

2. Complement Her: appreciating what you have is a way of showing that you admire her, make her smile in a way that no matter what other men say to her as a compliment will not sound new to her ear why??? Because her darling husband compliments her at all times not only in the b*droom.

3. Dinner Date: yes you are already married. And so what? Take her out frequently, to bring back memories, have fun, chat r*mantically, drop office work for this period and concentrate with her only.

4. Spend Time Together: Spending time together helps in building the bond between you and your partner making it easy for you both to connect both intimately or otherwise.

5. Do Something New Together: spending time with your spouse is one thing and knowing what to do while spending time with him/her is another, therefore make some plans before that faithful day since you are the master planner of the day so create a nice event for the day, if you can’t recall, Jot them down to help you remember every plan you had for the day.

You can cook her favorite if you know it and also know how to cook Which is necessary to know your woman’s favorite.

But if you don’t know how to cook, well I guess you just found yourself one of the new things you can do together at this time, creating first-time cooking memories in that kitchen is something you can’t forget in a lifetime, etc.

Spice up your marriage so that divorce can be far from your dwelling.

Also, note that the steps given here on how to spice up your marriage can also be used to spice up your relationship.

Marry Your Best Friend

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9 POSITIVE TIPS THAT WILL HELP YOU MAKE 2021 YOUR BEST YEAR EVER

February 22, 2024 by Joy Ekpouko

2021 Your Best Year Ever

2021 cannot be like 2020 that’s a sure thing I don’t know about you but that’s what I know.

Now let me ask “how was your 2019? And what about 2020?? Well, I guess your answers will all be different because 2019 and 2020 cannot be the same because the things you did and experience in 2020 weren’t the same as in 2019.

2020 came with a lot of trials which affected many of us and also resulted in us losing many of our dear ones in the process of trying to survive. Why was it like that?

I guess it is because no one saw 2020 coming in that form, it was to be a great year to remember for good but not what it later turned into.

2021 is here, how prepared are you? What plans do you make for 2021? Where do you want to be by 2021? What do you want to achieve before the end of 2021? Are you willing to take the step into your personal and financial growth? Or you don’t even have a plan?

2020 crisis hit worldwide that’s all countries but still, they are people who were not affected because they once established plans for their lives and also worked hard toward making it a manifestation in a way that even while on lock down, they were still able to stay at home and be making their incomes.

Does that means that they have they were created differently by God?? No. We were all created equal but with different grace which is now our duty to work hard to make the grace to start working for us.

You can’t dig where you did not sow therefore you should plan your life come 2021 to recover what you lost in 2020.

TIPS TO MAKE YOU HAPPIER IN 2021

1. The 2020 Crisis: let 2020 experience be your inspiration to make it great in 2020 not as a sit back. Sometimes, the bad condition we finds ourselves in the process of living, does not happen because we deserve it neither does it come to break us.

Instead, it comes to remold us and also to remain us what we have on the inside of us which all we have to do is to embrace it and put it into action.

2. Look at the way forward but not the problem: looking at the solution to a problem will only help you sort it out in and on time. But looking at the problem will other be a distraction which brings stagnation to stop you from reaching where you are suppose to reach at that time.

If you chose looking at the problem, make sure that you are using 25% of your time to look not only at the problem but the source of the problem so as to avoid falling back at it then use 75% seeking for the solution (the way forward).

3. Avoid Comparison: sometimes, comparison can be used as a mean of motivation to strike to be better but using it as your means of inspiration, is a wrong move.

Comparison will only show you your failure if not that, it will only be showing you the people you are better than thereby making you to use that as a means of comforting yourself and stop trying to be better.

In this 2021, the only person you should strike to be better than should be yourself, the you of 2019 and 2020. This simply means the old you.

4. Set Date and Time for Each Plan: it is one thing to have a plan all written down in a note or in your head yet you don’t execute it.

Setting dates/months frame for every plans, will not only help you to achieve them but it will also serve as a daily reminder, telling you, ma/ sir, you still haven’t executed me yet o.

5. Surround Yourself with positive fellows: The friends or company you keep, people who has the capacity of poisoning your mindset and sense of reasoning.

Therefore gather yourself with good and positive people, people who can give you a positive vibe in other to push you forward to be like them or better than them not people who has nothing to contribute into your future.

6. Believe: having one or two or more set back in the journey of life does not mean that you were not born for greatness.

You were created for a greater purpose so don’t limit yourself to your past, push forward and let your eyes be on being better than your past.

7. Start Afresh: You can’t make it by sitting down waiting for who will come and jack you up. You got to rise up and strike even harder this time and let not your trial and errors decide for you.

8. Look for Inspiration: Inspiration is the key to fulfilling your plans this 2021. What I mean here is that, whatever you do or have in mind to do, make sure that it is something that gives joy and peace of mind. Don’t start something that under few weeks, months, or year, you give up because there is no inspiration in what you were doing.

So whatever you want to do in this 2021, ensure that your mind, spirit, soul and body accepts it before you start thinking of how to execute it.

9. Execute: writing down some plans in a book does not mean that it will rise up by itself and make it manifest in 2021. Therefore postponing your plans from one year to another will only cause a delay in your life and from the look of things, delay is just a coma but it has the power to keep you in one place forever if care or something is not done about it.

Therefore, make 2021 your very best and achieve if not many things, at least one thing, then if you derive joy from it, strike for more.

Nothing makes one happy like seeing joy and happiness in the faces of his or her dear ones therefore be better to get better respect from your peers and from your environment.

jude beck PzyGU3QPJU unsplash — *photo credit: unsplash*

Happy New Year 2021 to everyone and good luck to you.

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13 Outstanding sure Ways You Can Attract Men To Yourself

February 22, 2024 by Joy Ekpouko

What attract men to women

To attract men: One thing is sure as a woman, do you want to know that one thing? I guess you do. One thing that is sure is that God created us, women, with four sights which simply means that we have what it takes to get what we want and what it takes to also lose what we have. It is because the power is within us.

Most men are moved by what they see first before coming for what they want.

Quote me right, what I mean here is that, if a man sees beautiful ladies walking by, he will, first of all, check all of them out from afar admiring them when done and he is sure he has to picture them all out, he now makes a move to the one he wants..

So with your four sights, you got to make sure that your mend appearance speaks almost all about you. Do you have to walk naked for him to see? Of course, NOT, exposing everything under your clothes just to attract men, will only land you with flirt who are just there for a nightstand. And I don’t think you are looking for that.

Therefore below here are few things you can do as a woman to attract men even unknowingly to you.

1. YOUR MODE OF DRESSING:

Responsible men go for responsible ladies. Your dressing has a lot of role to play in this your task to attract men that’s why it is our point number one.

“Your dressing determine how you are address” dressing seductive will attract lustful men to you who are looking for a girlfriend matter but if you are looking for a man not a boy, then dressing decent and moderate is your key.

2. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF: appreciate the woman you have become, loving yourself and noticing how awesome you are, will be a big plus to standing your ground in all you do.

Don’t let any man or woman makes you feel less than yourself, so when you wake up in the morning, look yourself in the mirror, if you don’t have a mirror, use your phone and take a selfie and see how awesome and beautiful you have become.

Avoid self doubt because it will only generate pity party to you not friends who will help you get what you want.

3. GET SKILLS: striking to be successful with or without a man shows that you are independent and many successful and skillful men Likes such ladies.

So for you to attract men, get yourself out from your heavenly bed room and get yourself busy, get a job so that you will not be a burden to your man.

4. SMILE: yea we do have our bad and good times but let your good times be seen often than your bad time especially in the public.

Learn to smile and ensure that your smile has the power it suppose to have as a lady to melt a man’s heart to smile back at you without resisting.

5. SIT OUT AT TIMES:

If you have friends, sit out with friends sometimes if you don’t, then take yourself out, enjoy yourself, make yourself happy because when you are happy not so depressed, men will have the courage to walk up to your table to join you without being scared.

Taking yourself out to be happy helps you look younger than your age.

6. MANNER OF APPROACH: I know we women can be so emotional at times and with that, we easily react to things before we even start thinking. So showing a man a bad reaction when he approaches you especially on the first day will only send a signal to him that you are not the one.

7. ABILITY TO INITIATE GIST: being current on news, sports, politic etc will help keeping them interested in making friends with you because you will not be a person to sit out with.

8. GET INVOLVED IN MEN’S GAMES OR AFFAIRS: One of the games men like so much apart from soccer game is video games, it is one thing not to be able to play but staying with them and be laughing and cheering the party that wins up is another way of showing them your charms. But don’t be lousy.

9. SMARTNESS: Being beautiful without an insight on anything either career wise, Academy, Inspirational, motivating, skills etc is a big minus when it comes to attracting a man.

So let him see one thing in you that makes you outstanding from other ladies, show him the best side of you and a little of your bad side so that he won’t take you for granted.

10. CONTENTMENT: Being contented with what you have and working hard to be better than who you were yesterday instead of comparing yourself with someone else will only send out one signal ” She Is Special and unique” .

11. SOCIAL LIFE: Work as hard as you can to be better but still, get a life. Even after making it in life, your profit will not give you a complete happiness but the kind of friendship world that you created while claiming up will keep you going.

Men Like ladies that are friendly and social and you are friendly, you are easy to talk or chat with.

12. SPIRITUAL LIFE: Set your life in the right path with Christ, be Godly and committed in the things of the Lord, be active, worship God in truth and in spirit, not to get a man but to prove to God that you believe in what He can do.

So your way of handling things in the house of worship will determine how many brothers or visitors are looking or admiring you without your notice. So be active in your place of duty, be skillful.

13. HAVE SOME HOBBY: Don’t be boring, get something that you can be interested or gist someone about, it will show that you are interesting to chat with.

If there is a man you admire so much or your man, you need to learn some stuff.

20 WAYS TO SPICE UP YOUR MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP

4 Very Important Reason Why You Need to Build Friendship Before Relationship

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14 Outstanding Signs You Are In A Toxic Marriage

February 22, 2024 by Joy Ekpouko

Signs of a toxic marriage

Toxic marriage is something that nobody, especially a lady, should pray for in life. Toxic marriage occurring in life does not mean that marriage is a bad thing. marriage is a beautiful thing when you are with the right person.
Note this, you don’t find the right person at a religious gathering, social gathering, or any kind of gathering, you can only find the right person that is compatible with you when you finally realize who you are and what you want.

Another way of avoiding toxic marriage is by making God be the foundation of it from the very first start. Now why from the start?
From the start because God created everyone in His own image which means that everyone is perfectly made and after creating, He attached each and everyone to their life partner, so making God be the foundation of your marriage means that he will help you by bringing who he ordained for you to locate you in one way or the other.

Being with the right person or having a good and happy marriage does not mean that your marriage is perfect and also is an absence of errors, disagreement, misunderstanding, etc. But what matters is how you handle your own marriage when all these trials arise. And this is what differentiates your marriage from your neighbor’s or your friend’s marriage.

——–What are the causes of a toxic marriage;——-+

Comparison: women do easily fall victim to this. Never compare your marriage to anyone’s own be it your parents, neighbors, friends, colleagues, etc. It’s annoying to be compared to anyone just because you made a mistake or because there was a fight and things couldn’t work out as expected from your partner.

It is a sign of reduction and disrespect. If he is trying, tell him he is trying, and if there is a misunderstanding or there is something he or she did that pissed you off, walk up to her or him and table it maturely for peace to rain, not by comparing the innocent soul or judging for his or her mistakes.

2. Being rude to each other: rudeness can come in the form of your response to a question maybe just because you are angry, you now take it out on your partner harshly and he or she also responds to it harsh before you know it, things got out of control.

3. Inferiority Complex: Oh my friends are all married with kids, Oh my junior colleague’s husband just got her a new car, etc. With this kind of complex, you now decided to start searching for a rich dude to mingle with or marry most times leaving your already existing relationship because you are desperate to be like your friends and colleague too.

4. No insight: before you settle to get married to someone, you got to sit down and learn things about marriage what it takes to keep your home and as a lady, you need to learn how to keep your man happy because it is very important

5. Delay: after all being said, a delay can also be a reason someone experiences a toxic marriage but how??
Well, this still relates and most times happen to us ladies.

At 23-26years, you are still not ready for marriage and you don’t even have someone in your life who you are serious with, yet it doesn’t bother you. Then at 30+ you now start looking for just any man that is handsome, tall, either rich, middle class, or poor, you don’t care, you just want to be married and start a family.

You now become desperate than before when you turn 36+ and then your prayer point changes to “Oh Lord anything” I don’t care, I just wanna have a man to call my own and then start a family with.
Now, something like this has the power to push you into a toxic marriage because you have no choice.

———Now these are the toxic marriage signs you should look out for;———–

Unsolved conflicts: when your partner is too stingy and big that he or she can not bring herself down for misunderstanding to be resolved then it Is a toxic marriage.
The truth is that no one is above mistakes so you shouldn’t expect your partner to be perfect if you are not perfect either.

2. None compatibility: You don’t have to be 100% compatible with your partner before you know that you are fit for each other. But at least you should be 70,80,90% compatible before you agree to end up with him.

— Things that you can be compatible with;—–

1.Your hobbies

2.Your kind of jokes

3. Your likes and dislikes

4. Your ways or reasoning

5. IQ, etc

—++ toxic marriage signs you should look out for—–

aggressive ethnic man and frightened woman quarreling in bathroom — Photo by Alex Green on Pexels.com

Abuse: when you are emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually abused by your partner or his family and yet nothing is done about it, then run that marriage isn’t for you.
A man who abuses his wife is indirectly reducing himself to an animal or hunt other animals to feed and also to be king over them.

man wearing white tank top — Photo by fotografierende on Pexels.com

2. Always defensive: It’s not bad for him or her to be defending himself at times but when it’s now becoming his lifestyle, then that’s not it again. For once be on the offensive side and learn to say oh I’m sorry.

mad formal executive man yelling at camera — Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

3. Is bossy: Men like being the boss of the house but likewise women, we also love being in charge at least for once in a particular place, but when everything that’s done in the house is from the approval of one person at all times then it’s not it.

Staying in a house you called your house because whatever belongs to your husband belongs to you too, but yet you don’t have a voice in your home then that’s a toxic marriage because you are a maid in your own house waiting for an order from the boss at all times.

4. Less concerned lifestyle: No matter how busy you are, you shouldn’t be so busy to the extent that you can’t notice your partner’s needs at home. As a human, he or she needs attention too from you.

If this is happening, it means that he or she is beginning to out something else before you and if not treated or sorted out immediately, it will result in divorce and that’s a toxic marriage.

woman and man wearing brown jackets standing near tree — Photo by Vera Arsic on Pexels.com

5. Frequent fight: fighting in a relationship of marriage is normal that’s because two imperfect beings come together to form a perfect home, so in the process of trying to build that perfect home, fight, disagreement, argument, etc must set in but when it becomes a schedule for everyday duty then that’s your marriage turning into a toxic marriage.

tranquil young asian female lying on white blanket in morning — Photo by jasmin chew on Pexels.com

6. Betrayal: when he or she starts lying to you about his way about, he starts cheating on you and sometimes denied it but maybe recently he can’t hide again so he or she now does it open for you or people to see that’s a toxic marriage sign.

7. Unnecessary changes of interest: You two used to be lovers of a particular thing or function and that function normally brings you two together in a way you can’t explain.

But later things start changing, he or she doesn’t feel like connecting again through that function, show, or whatever, therefore he starts limiting his interest.

This can be as a result of having a lot on his mind, he is trying to move on, he is no more interested in you, or he is confused about many things.

unrecognizable depressed black woman embracing pillow in bedroom — Photo by Alex Green on Pexels.com

8. Loneliness: this point doesn’t only have to do with married people, even to those in a relationship. When you are with someone yet you still feel single, empty, and wanting, then that’s not the right place for you to be.
When you are with someone, you are supposed to feel accepted emotionally, physically, mentally, etc satisfied. Except you are not in love.

9. No public nor inside respect: A woman or a man who speaks to you anyhow even in front of your kids, friends, colleagues, is not your man neither is she your woman., that’s why she does not regard you nor scared of what negative effect the action will do to the marriage.

Always thinking negative about the marriage future: Having a big vision is good but you got to work towards it if you want people to take you seriously.

When she be little whatever future plans you have, she is not yours. If you can’t change her to reason and see things with you, then let her, that’s you stepping into a toxic marriage.

You need someone who believes in your dreams too

10. Cut in communication: Without communication, a perfect marriage can turn into a toxic one in a twinkle of an eye. Communication helps in bleaching the gap between you and your partner, so when that is cut off, it automatically leads to a toxic marriage.

11. Distance: Distances here doesn’t only have to do with the physical distance but emotional distance. Distance emotionally creates starvation and from being starving emotionally, you can be taken off balance by anyone.

So if you feel distant emotionally between you and your spouse, work things out otherwise get busy.

HOW TO HANDLE A TOXIC MARRIAGE;

You can handle by not marrying just because
your mother pressurizes you to give her grandchildren. If you are not ready to be committed to a man or woman, please don’t bring someone’s child into your home and torture her.
Choose to marry when you are sure that you are ready to settle down and start your own family.
Marry for love and not for goal achievement: it is not bad to have a set goal or dreams for your future but deciding to make it through marriage will only result in a toxic marriage.
Therefore, marry because you have something in common with this guy or lady that you believe that can be grown to lead to something serious.
Marry someone who is a therapy in nature: yeah a therapy in nature in the form of if you are hot, he or she will be available or able to hold you down, he will be able to help you control your temper, not someone who will even put more fuel to the fire to be hotter and bring out flames.
Marry a friend: if love can not hold a home or relationship tight, then friendship can. Marry someone who is friendly in nature.
Don’t marry for family reputation. Your happiness matters a lot not to your parents, at least to yourself.
Don’t marry because of flashes things because one day when those things are not available anymore, you will be completely hurt, because it wasn’t what you saw nor plan.

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12 Outstanding Surprising Signs that your spouse is cheating

February 22, 2024 by Joy Ekpouko

Signs that your spouse is cheating:

Love can be so beautiful and sparkling that we turn blind-eye to the main things we suppose to be looking out for in our relationship as “signs that our spouse is cheating”

Most times, we choose to believe in the lies our partner tells us more than when the truth is being told, with this, we give them room to use their sweet tongue to Manipulate our mind with lies and flirt.

When. You are in a relationship, get to know your partner well so that when changes occur, you will be able to decode it in and on time without being deceived.

Though it is not all changes that means that your partner may be cheating but no matter the kind of change that occurs, you will know by so many things.

If you are finding it difficult to know, then let me walk through with some points.

close up photo of man kissing woman — Photo by Avonne Stalling on Pexels.com

—-Signs that your spouse is cheating on you or is trying to cheat—-

1. Secretive: I use secretive as number one because no matter the way he or she wants to manipulate it, he will try to hide it in a way that you will never suspect or believe it even if someone tells you about it.

Therefore just watch as if you don’t smell a fish in the pot.

2. Excuses: A partner who used to give you his or her attention more often suddenly changed to an excused one in a twinkle of an eye, my dear something is not right if you ask me. Excuses break marriages and relationships and with this insight, he still chooses to flow with the excuses then is a simple sign that your partner is cheating.

3. Scared: A man or woman that maybe cheating will have no complete peace at home even without your confrontation, he or she will be running up and down, even while eating, he will be observing you from his sit just to check if you suspect anything.

photo of woman behind door — Photo by Adrienn on Pexels.com

4. Secret Phone Calls: marriage includes being transparent to your partner but when your partner starts sneaking in and out just to answer his or her phone, running away from your present. Something is up.

What kind of phone call will make a man run out of the bathroom or toilet naked to carry his phone to avoid you checking the caller?

When I was at college, there was this guy I dated, we were serious anyway since we were at college, we wanted to get married after our degree. We were into the relationship that his siblings knew about us.

The only thing is that he finished college before me, so with that, there was a little distance, we couldn’t see each other every day as before but video calls were always our ways of communication.

Few months after he graduated, I went to spend the weekend with him, on reaching there, we decided to sit out with his friends. But during that siting out, there was something fishing going on.

All his friends couldn’t loom me straight in the eye, I tried to ignore it just to enjoy the money, a few minutes later an elderly lady walked into the bar, immediately his friends started seeing each other and they all looked toward the same direction.

people sitting on chair outside restaurant — Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

Before you know it, one of them stood up and walked up to the lady, then they both went out. A few minutes later he came in smiling.

I knew that something was not right but I didn’t know who to ask between even my friend couldn’t stand on his two feet again after the lady left.

When we got home that night, I went into the kitchen to microwave dinner so he went into the shower and left his phone on the center table has usual

A few minutes after he entered the bathroom, his phone began ringing, before I could stop out of the kitchen just to help him with the phone, guess what??

He was already there striping wet, then I now decode that the lady at the bar actually came for him but his friend stood up to cover his deed so that I won’t suspend. I didn’t ask him but my behavior that night changed.

The next day I went back to school, I hardly call him, nor text him as before, when he notices that, he now discovered that I knew about It but still he said nothing for about six months, but before he could even start explaining to me why he did it, it was already too late.

I gave him time but he was still not ready to come out.

When someone loves you so much and values you, he or she will not stop being transparent with you.

man in blue and white plaid dress shirt and black pants standing on staircase — Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

5. Stay out late at night: What will keep a man or woman outside his home at night leaving his woman alone in the house?? I don’t think there is any job that is a must and compulsory to work until 11 pm or 12 a.m in the office except he or she is security personnel.

And even as security personnel, you work by shift, no security works from morning to night, without a break to go home to his family.

man and woman wearing brown leather jackets — Photo by Vera Arsic on Pexels.com

6. Fight: fighting is another format for a breakup, a man or woman who wants to break up in her relationship, or divorce in their marriage normally starts it with a fight.

Yeah, a fight he or she starts by going against you or do things that will annoy you so that he can use that against you, making it look like you are the case.

7. Negativity: He was never like that from the very start but along the line he changed, he does believe in possibilities anymore, he doesn’t believe that you can do it.

All he does is “Honey I don’t think we can do it “Honey about Jake’s school, don’t you think is expensive? Why not take him to a public school? etc.

All this is not because you guys are broke but are because he is not ready to spend much on the family therefore he starts using this format to cut the links.

My advice: Start working even harder than usual for backup so that nothing will take you unawares. signs that you are getting dumped

8. Complaints: He goes fuses on everything and on anything you do, nothing you do in the house that interests nor please him anymore. And that’s because there is another woman or man in his life who is marking time to break your home just to come in.

9. No Intimacy: Most times intimacy stops because he or she has no interest in you anymore or the feelings for you are less than the percentage it was from the start.

Even when some tries faking it, you that is involved, if you check it well, you will notice that his or her heart is not really into you anymore no matter how he pretends there must always be something in his heart even while being with you.

father and son relaxing on a sofa — Photo by August de Richelieu on Pexels.com

10. Attached to chats: As a single man or lady, social media can be your attachment but when you have a spouse, many of those will just stop without your noticing. Is a normal thing.

But when along the line, your spouse changes again to that single lifestyle, so attached to social media is one of the signs that your spouse is cheating. Just watch his reaction while chatting, then you can tell.

11. He avoids family discussion: communication is what generates understanding in a home and every good home manager knows about this, but when your spouse starts avoiding any discussion that has to do with the future of the family, then that’s it, you don’t need a fortune teller to tell you this one. But your mind needs therapy if you want to save your home.

That’s if only is not beyond repair.

woman in white off shoulder wedding dress sitting in brown fabric sofa chair — Photo by Godisable Jacob on Pexels.com

12. He or She is so into their appearance before stepping out of the house: As a spouse, all their interest when it comes to their appearance is to look good in front of their partners, just to have more of their attention.

But when that’s not the case anymore, it means there is someone else in the picture in which he or she is trying to impress out there without your notice.

Therefore if you don’t want to get broken when any of this results in a breakup, then take this article signs that your spouse is cheating seriously.

Thank you for stopping by. Please let’s hear from you before leaving the site either with a comment or a reaction thank you.

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15 QUALITIES OF WHO CAN MARRY YOU

February 22, 2024 by Joy Ekpouko

How is the person who wants to marry you

Knowing the qualities of who can marry you, is important but knowing who you are, is

the most important before going into marriage. Many people

complain about their partners because they didn’t think twice

before taking a step. You need to know who you are, your kind of

person before taking a steps of getting into agreement with

someone to start a family of your own together saying yes i will marry you is not hard but you got to be sure that you are with the right person.

The following are some things to consider before saying yes to marriage and before saying i will marry you;

Marry someone who knows how to say “I’m sorry ” and also mean it without pride getting in the way.
Marry someone who loves your soul not only your body.
Don’t be hot temper and also get marry to a hot temper person, or else one day your home will be turned into a battle field where everybody is trying to be a winner.
Don’t be warm and also marry someone warm.
Don’t be a committed worshiper and get marry to a club addict. (It is either you change him/her or he/she changes you, or divorce sets in).
Don’t be a block head and also get marry to a block head. Though at times is good but in 40% because no one will say am better than the other, but the remaining 60% is not, in terms of businesses proposal, finances, contracts etc. you maybe cheated on, but with your partners knowledge you can explore more. E.g. many of our billionaires today.
Don’t be a fashion freak and get marry to someone with no sense of dressing unless there is an agreement to work on it.( To avoid lack of interest in each other in the future).
Don’t marry someone who is always trying to be superior all the time.
Marry someone who knows that you have the right to voice out your frustration, a right to agree and to disagree a right to air your opinions.
Don’t go for Mr. Perfect / Miss Perfect. Remember two imperfect people comes together to make their home perfect.
Marry a man who knows that hitting a woman is a crime against humanity. 6 life partner qualities everyone should have
Marry someone who is fun to be with, someone who is not boring to be with, someone that understands what it means and takes to put a smile on someone’s face.
Marry a man who knows that at time, you might just be so tired to cook and for him taking you to eatery for dinner or him fixing the meal that day to save you the stress is not a taboo.
Don’t marry because you think the person will change later or that the person will not change later (conditional type of marriage).
Marry a friend not a lover, (N/B you can’t tell a lover everything including your secrets but you can always tell a good friend).

So be careful who to marry and make use of your courtship period to know who you are dealing with, to avoid making mistakes in the future that may land in a divorce.
Marriage is for enjoyment not for enduring, when you end up with the wrong person, for how long will you be enduring? Marriage is a life time contract not a relationship that you can walk out anytime you like.

30 Relationship advice for men and 20 relationship advice for women

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9 SIMPLE WAYS HOW TO MAKE YOUR HUSBAND HAPPY

February 22, 2024 by Joy Ekpouko

HOW TO MAKE YOUR HUSBAND HAPPY

How to make your husband happy or sad, at times determines how he will treat you.

A saying;

“A woman who controls a man’s stomach has the power to control his heart.”

Yes, that’s right, but what about now that most men can cook even more than some ladies?

That’s why we have compile this to share with you.

person hands woman girl — Photo by Public Domain Pictures on Pexels.com

PRAYER: Be a prayerful woman. Learn to pray for yourself, your husband, your kids etc.

When you are prayerful, you will know the things to be praying for, when to pray for it and how to pray for it.

“prayer moves mountains”.

During this stay at home, fiverr have got you covered while you are staying safe. sign up today.

SUPPORTIVE: most men likes’ women who have an insight. You can use your insight to coach

and support your husband for the well-being of the family.

But don’t try to have the final say at all times just because you support him. signs he wants you in his future

SUBMISSION: Be submissive to your man but don’t be a dump woman.

Know when to speak and when not to speak.

Don’t try to disrespect him especially in front of his friends even when you know that he is wrong.

You can correct him later when his friends are gone.

— how to make your husband happy

A HOME MANAGER: be a good home manager, stand in for him when you know his capability is

reduced at that particular season.

If no food stuff in the house, adjust the way you use them and how you spend. Tips for a successful relationship

LEARN TO COVER HIS WEAKNESS: if he can’t perform in a particular area in his life learn to help

him that’s why you are his help mate.

If you can’t help him, don’t sell him out to public or your friends because by hurting his ego, you

will end up scattering your home.

woman and man holding hands beside brown dog while walking on green grasses surrounded by green leafed trees — Photo by mentatdgt on Pexels.com

BE A FRIEND NOT ONLY A LOVER: there are some men who cannot share their secrets with their

wives not because they don’t love them, but because they are not sure if their secret will be safe

with them or if they will lose their happy home because of the secret.

So they decide to keep it to themselves or share it with only their friends.

So learn to be a friend that he can rely on at any time knowing that their secret will not be leak outside.

ORIGINAL: be original not fake. Don’t fake what you are not and don’t fake to be happy while

you are not because he is not a spirit to read your mind.

So open up to him when it is necessary, to save you the stress of being miserable. opening up is how you can make your man happy so don’t be so secretive.

—how to make your husband happy

elegant asian woman with wine at home — https://relationshipnetwork.com.ng Photo by JESSICA TICOZZELLI on Pexels.com

YOUR DRESSING: learn to dress to his taste.

Example; you used to wear jeans trousers when he met you and decided to marry you and after

marrying you, you start using wrappers in morning, afternoon and night. Are you his granny?

Dress to his taste each and every day dress in the house to seduce your man to make him fall

more and more in love with you every day. Keep yourself attractive just for him he is your man

not your roommate.

SCURRILOUS: don’t be an abusive woman.

No responsible man loves a woman who is abusive, gross, scandalous, low obscene, foul mouthed etc.

Count your words don’t think you can just do free styling with any word that enters into your

Mouth especially when you are angry and your home still remains the same.

Words have the power to build and the power to destroy a home so choose wisely.

the power to make your husband happy is always with you, so it is either you try and make him stay at home or he stays out just to have a peace of mind.

make your husband miss you even while at work or when he travel.

can you share how to make your husband happy

why you should use romantic words

30 Relationship advice for men and 20 relationship advice for women

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7 INSIGHT ON COURTSHIP MEANING

February 22, 2024 by Joy Ekpouko

The important courtship meaning

Courtship meaning

Many people do think that courtship is only a media for

fornication(sin) but I will not disagree with that

but I will still say a little No to that. Courtship is not only a media

for fornication, it is also a media where two adults come together

to understand each other and know what they need to know

before getting marry.

Courtship is like a school.

Many divorce homes these days are related to the absent of courtship,

some will say it was love at first sight so

I couldn’t wait than to make her my own, my parent said it was a

good family to marry from, our parents

were friends, she is smart and intelligent, she was the most

beautiful in college, he was the most

handsome in college, he has muscles, our church was against it etc.

Was that the only reason we end up in marriage?

What if some years later things start changing, she is no more

that beautiful as at in college? What if he

stopped working out to keep himself really physically fit anymore?

What if your parents later have issues and misunderstanding set

in and they break their friendship?

What will be the outcome of all these questions?

Don’t marry someone with condition attached to it, because one

day, when that condition that made

you to love nor accept to be the person’s partner disappeared,

then marriage will end up becoming a battle field or a grave yard

in which everywhere is silent and if care is not taken, it will open

ways to divorce. from courtship meaning, we can now talk on;

— REASONS WHY COURTSHIP IS IMPORTANT BEFORE

MARRIAGE

YOU WILL GET TO KNOW THE PERSON A LITTLE BIT

You will know if he/she is a human at day and something
else at night.

You will get to know the kind of food he/she likes and the one which he dislikes.

You will get to know his sleeping position.

You will get to know if he snug at night if you can deal with.

Is he a bully

Is he a hot temper?

How he reacts to issues that arises.

YOU WILL GET TO KNOW HIS FRIENDS

Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.

Are his/her friend’s responsible kind of people

Can you deal with his friends around?

Are they compatible

Will you be able to be free with them i.e. (will you take them as your own friends too)

WHAT HE DOES

His job

What he/she does for fun

What he uses his time to do

How serious he is with what he does.

THE FAMILY HE/SHE IS FROM

The kind of blood that flows in him

His behavior with the family (the way he treats his family can also determine the way he

treats you.)

His background/ past

The way his family treats and take people

The religious

ROMANTIC

Remember that someone being romantic doesn’t only have to do with the bedroom.

You can have fun with someone without having sex with the person. Example of romantic

moments are:

Cooking together

Pillow fight

Working out together not only at night

Chatting with each other even while sitting together.

Texting him/her reminding him how handsome he is and how beautiful she is and how you

are privilege to have him/her as your fiancée

— THINKS TO LOOK FOR:

The way he/she behaves when he is with you

His speech (the way he/she talks matters a lot. In fact, the

way people look at you is also

determine by the words that comes out from your mouth when

you speak) so mind

your words.

His sense of humor

DRESSING CODE

Can you deal with his sense of dressing?

Does he know color combination?

Does he/she dress to your taste

Is he a suit type or a casual dressing type?

Does he know what kind of shoes to use when he dresses to an important occasion.

SENSE OF REASONING

Does he/she reason things the way you do.

Do argument sets in in every discussion you are trying to initiate

Does he reason with his head or with his hands?

Is he a grow up or still a kid?

How serious is he/she when you talk about your relationship?

NOTE all these are part of the things you watch out while in courtship not until when you

are married.

Once you are married, you both belong to each other but in courtship, you can deal with

what needs to be deal with in and on time.

If there is no regret during courtship, there will be regret in marriage, all you have to do

is to keep your home both physically and spiritually fit.

—- THINGS NOT ADVISABLE TO DO IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY

Don’t get married to someone you don’t love just because all your friends are married.

Don’t marry someone because of his/her wallet.

Don’t marry someone due to depression

Don’t marry someone just because you think that’s the only solution to insults

Don’t marry someone just because you worship in the same ministry

Don’t marry someone just for family reputation.

Don’t marry someone just because mummy says so.

Don’t marry someone just for political pursuit.

Don’t marry because of what you see because in months or years later, you will start seeing

what you didn’t see back then.

Don’t marry because dad made a promise to his/her family when you were born that you are destined for each other. It is only God that writes destiny.

Don’t force someone to marry you. Even if he/she loves you. (love doesn’t keep marriage but understanding does)

Don’t marry a bulling.

NOTE THIS (courtship meaning) Marriage is to be enjoy and not to be endured Don’t

endure while you are dying within you, just because you don’t

want your marriage to scatter or your friends/ people to

gossip about it, you now decide to endure it.

Marriage is not all about endurance perhaps for how long will you

continue to endure nor keep up the act that your marriage is okay.

It is until it kills you? If you have made this mistake and

maybe it I hunting you now, seek for a counselor, if you can convince your partner to join you, then you do.

Pour out your heart let him/her get to know your pains and the

trauma he/she have put you through.

Then if change occur good, but if after everything no change.

Then I will say “FOLLOW YOUR HEART” Be wise.

marrying the wrong person is not one of the mistake you should

plan to make in life.

4 Interesting Reason Why You Need to Build Friendship before Relationship

February 22, 2024 by Joy Ekpouko

FRIENDSHIP AND RELATIONSHIP

Friendship and relationship are two different things. The things that are not working during mutual attachment can not work during a relationship. that is why it is necessary to start any relationship with anyone with friendship then taking it to the next level.

Most times when I tell friends and family that I value friendship most times more than intimate, there is a question I usually receive that is;

Does friendship matter before the relationship? Can’t I get into a relationship first before becoming the person’s friend?

Well, you can still start a relationship before friendship. the fact is that most of them do end in tears because you will go and see the kind of lifestyle you never expected and that occurs because you knew nothing about him and his ways of life.

But note this, a man or a lady who isn’t qualified to be your friend can’t be your wife or your husband. The enemy you know is better than the friend you don’t know.

Friendship has a lot and a huge role to play in your relationship.

Now let’s see the advantages

CLOSE FRIENDSHIP VS RELATIONSHIP

WHY YOU NEED TO BUILD FRIENDSHIP BEFORE RELATIONSHIP

• Friendship brings freedom: there are something’s you can’t do with your lover or in the presence of someone you call your lover, but you can say it or do it in front of your best friend.

content diverse friends stacking hands on bench in park — Photo by Gabby K on Pexels.com

• Secrets Shared: You can’t hide everything from your friend, but you can hide almost if not everything from your lover.

• You will get to know the real person. The atmosphere for fakeness is less than in a relationship.

• You will know his likes. One of the things that are just necessary for a relationship is “compatibility” No matter what you do nor try if you and your partner are not compatible, then there is no forever hope for the relationship nor marriage.

delighted young diverse people dancing on sports ground — Photo by Gabby K on Pexels.com

THEREFORE WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU CAN BE COMPATIBLE WITH

Daily activities; If he is a 23hours working kind of man and one hour for you and the family, if you are the opposite, which means you don’t like such busy guys, but you prefer a man that spends most of his time doing things with his family then you are not compatible.

2. The way he/she treats family: it is very easy for one to fake to be very caring and loving during a relationship, but hard to fake during friendship and marriage. that’s why you will easily hear people saying “he was not like this when I married him”, “If I knew you were this wicked, I couldn’t have married you, woman” etc.

Now in things like this, if you want to find out, you will discover that most of them just started from a date to a relationship, then marriage.

More than half (1/2%) percent of women, that are in a relationship today, can do the undo just to keep their man, and no matter how you fake the relationship/marriage, it won’t last.

Note: “When you use fakeness to keep a relationship, you will use fakeness to maintain it”. Apst. Jordan Akada.

IS FROM FRIENDSHIP INTO RELATIONSHIP IMPORTANT

Yes, from friendship into relationship is very important as it is going to help you and your partner to grow together in love, understanding, and unity.

It will also help you both to understand that being a grown up does not mean that you are above fun in the home like example pillow fighting,playing of cards, games etc.

many of these can only occur if there is friendship between you two in the relationship.

DO THE BEST RELATIONSHIPS START AS FRIENDSHIPS

From my research, I will say yes to this, and what is your own view? Love is not always constant, it can always fate away, and if no understanding, the relationship dies. Now understanding Can only occur if friendship was already on the ground.

Friendship keeps your relationship/marriage lively. Lively in this aspect means fun and entertaining. So if you want to have a good and happy relationship, start with friends so that you can deal with and sort out what is necessary before you step into the relationship.

WHO IS MORE IMPORTANT FRIENDS OR LOVER

Lovers can always come and go but friendship stands a taste of time.

HOW TO MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP STRONGER

young couple in warm clothes holding hands on airfield — Photo by Анна Хазова on Pexels.com

Share things.
Share quality time doing what you two like best.
Go on a date at least once every month. It helps to bring back memories.
Cook together.
Be who you are.
Listen
Ask for a suggestion from your partner.
Give room for conversation.
Learn to forgive for no one is above mistakes.
Work as a team.
Be honest etc.
Have funs

friendship and relationship is very important in marriage.

Now i ask, friendship and relationship, which one do you prefer to exist first?