marriage

Marriage vs Domestic Partnership – Different Between Domestic Partnership And Marriage

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Domestic partnerships came to the scene during the era when same-gender marriages weren’t legally recognized in the United States. Then people started to engage in domestic partnerships to enjoy some of the benefits allocated to married couples by the government such as; Social security and life insurance benefits. So what is the difference between domestic partnerships and marriage?

What Domestic Partnership

A domestic partnership is a great alternative to marriage, domestic partnership is simply defined as a legal relationship between two individuals who have agreed to live together and share a common domestic life, just like marriage but are not married (to each other or to anyone else). People in domestic partnerships sometimes enjoy the same government benefits as married couples such as Loan grants, social security, life insurance, etc.

 

Is a girlfriend a domestic partner

A girlfriend is not a domestic partner but she can become one if she is ready to share a common residence with her boyfriend. Because the number one requirement of domestic partnerships is that both individuals must share a common residence in other to enter a domestic partnership.

Read How to cheer up your girlfriend: 17 sweet ways

 

Who is qualifies as a domestic partner

Anyone above 18 years is qualified to be a domestic partner as long as he or she meets the following requirements

1. Individuals should be 18 or older

2. Individuals must not be legally married to each other or any other person

Also check this How to Make Your Boyfriend Happy: 10 Tips and Tricks

3. Individuals must have chosen to live together in a committed relationship and under a common residence.

Note this is based on the U.S domestic partnerships agreement.

Can you marry your domestic partner in California?

In California registered domestic partners are free to decide whether or not to get married to each other, those who do wish to get married must first go through the formal legal steps required to become couples in California, to make the marriage formal.

 

What are the benefits of a domestic partnership in California?

One of the benefits of domestic partnership in California is that partners are entitled to 12 weeks of leave under the California Family Rights Act (CFRA) and also both partners are entitled to coverage under organized health insurance.

Related post Can A Relationship Lead To Marriage

Different Between Domestic Partnership And Marriage

1. Domestic partnerships provide you with limited benefits that married couples enjoy and receive from the government

But

Marriages give you access to all benefits and protections than a domestic partnership does.

 

2. Marriages are recognized and legal in all countries of the world

But

Domestic partnerships are only recognized in a few European nations

 

3. Domestic partners are not been regarded as “family” by law, although there are some workplaces and as such might not enjoy direct inheritance if something bad happens to their partner

But

Marriage gives couples automatically inherit upon death, and these assets are freely inherited without any taxes incurred.

Marriage Vs Domestic Partnership

Domestic Partnership Marriage

Domestic Partnership : Sharing retirement benefits can be complicated.

Marriage : Spousal retirement benefits are easier to access.

Domestic Partnership : You may not have access to your partner’s health insurance.

Marriage : You’ll have access to spousal health insurance.

Must read 7 Ways On How To Love Yourself

Domestic Partnership : They  are no special asset transfers.

Marriage : You have unlimited asset transfers in most states.

Domestic Partnership : You’ll avoid the “marriage tax” penalty.

Marriage : You’ll get a larger standard tax deduction and gift tax exemption.

Domestic Partnership : You may not have survivor benefits.

Marriage : You’ll have clear spousal death benefits.

Domestic Partnership : There’s no financial protection in separation.

Marriage : Divorce provides financial protection.

Domestic Partnership : Isn’t recognized in all Countries.

Marriage : Is recognized in all states.

 

Conclusion : 

Take note Domestic Partnership is not full-time Marriage, it is just a legal agreement between two people to stay in a common residence together and enjoy certain things couples enjoy. Domestic Partnership is an amazing alternative for marriage and also you can use it to test if your partner is mature enough for marriage.

 

Also, Read  Contested Divorce Attorney

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This is a true life story from a man who was sacked from work because of some horrendous mistakes he made

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“TRUE LIFE STORY” — How my wife helped me in becoming who I am today.
This was a true love life story from a man who was sacked from work because of some horrendous mistakes he made.

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In 2018, I was sacked from work because of the horrendous mistake I made.

After working relentlessly for a company for eight years, I was just dismissed without any gratuity paid.
I was dispirited.
Though I had a wife who keeps me company, I felt like a stone under the bottom of a lake.
I was subjected to forlornness and practically, I was penurious because I opened a boutique for my wife with all the money I saved
My wife kept actuating that everything will turn out smoothly for me in the coming days.
A few weeks later, I was just staying at home seeing a different kinds of movies.
My wife detested that idleness in me at that particular time, with a cool voice, she advised me to go and seek a job elsewhere and that her shop was gradually diminishing because we were feeding from there.
I didn’t heed her piece of advice.
Then, she denied me access to her sacred place where I do warship.
She started calling me a “house husband”.
Initially, I overlooked all her castigations but later, I decided to speak up.
“This thing you would never penetrate your rusted key in it again” she would always say as she points to her erogenous zone.
“Babe, why are you doing this to me” I would often say when I was fed up with her insúlts.
I was tempted to béat her to a pulp but I couldn’t. I would always be heartbroken seeing my wife crying.
One fateful day, I disclosed to her that a friend asked me to come to his company to be interviewed.
Her visage was replete with excitement. She chose the best apparel for me and ironed it properly by herself.
The next day, she gave encouraged me to go and conquered the queries that will be thrown at me.
I left with much enthusiasm, dressing exactly the way I wanted was the best motivation.
Fortunately, I answered all the questions asked correctly with my CV being held by the manager and they said that they will reach out to me.
In the evening, my wife had come back from the shop. She immediately asked me the outcome of the interview and I narrated everything to her.

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“TRUE LIFE STORY” —

She smiled brightly, I looked at her shockingly because it had been a long time since I saw those beautiful smiles visible on her countenance.
Without delay, she cooked the dinner which is my favourite and it was served.
When she served the food, she left. I called her countlessly to come and join me but she couldn’t hear me.
Then, I decided to go see her myself.
Shortly, I opened the door to the bedroom and I saw her knees on the earth.
She was praying for me to at least get the job and help the family.
A couple of tears welled up in my eyes as she continued praying. powerfully. passionately.
When she finished praying, I hugged her closely. sobbing as to why God gave a flawed being like me this kind of wife.
Well, that night, she gave me access to her sacred place and I did a great job there.

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“TRUE LIFE STORY” — How my wife helped me in becoming who I am today.

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“I am blessed to be married to someone that understands my career” Adekunle Gold speaks on his marriage to Simi (Video)

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I am blessed to be married to a woman that understands my career Adekunle Gold Kemi Filani blog min 1200x600 1

Popular Nigerian musician, Adekunle Gold speaks on his marriage to his wife Simi, opens up on the success of their marriage.

 

Adekunle Gold talked about how fortunate he feels to be married to a woman who appreciates his job in an interview with Famouz TV.

 

He acknowledged that their marriage was still young and said he was still learning how to balance work, family, and other responsibilities.

 

He claims that even when he is away on business, he still makes sure to check in with them and keep track of their schedule.

 

He acknowledged that he is aware of when they are awake and takes care to act accordingly.

 

Even if the couple might use some help with some tasks, he always gives his wife and daughter his undivided attention while he is at home.

 

In his words:

 

“It’s crazy, I mean, I’m still in the early stage, yea. But I’m learning every day to prioritize, like, family more. You know and when it’s time to work, we work, right?

 

Like I’m on a work trip now but I don’t feel to check in all the time. You know, I know when they will be up. So, I make sure I follow through and all of that, and then, when we are home it’s strictly at home.

 

Maybe work a little bit alongside. It’s been interesting and I’m blessed that I’m married to somebody that understands it. You know, if was married to somebody that doesn’t just understand the life of a singer”.

 

Adekunle Gold discussed the idea behind his song “One Woman” in another section of the interview.

 

Adekunle Gold acknowledged that he prefers to date a single woman.

 

He also said that he is a shameless lover and that he thinks the world only has a few people like him.

 

“You know, I just wanted to talk about how I am one woman type of guy and shameless lover man just wanted to talk.

 

And I feel like there are still a few of us left in the world.

 

So yea, let’s celebrate each other kind of”he added.

 

Watch video below:

 

Emotional Moment Bride Refuses To Throw Her Bouquet, Gives Single Elder Sister

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A bride had uploaded a beautiful video of her offering her elder sister an unique honor on her wedding day.

Instead of throwing her bouquet to unmarried guests during the traditional flower toss, the bride approached her elder sister and presented her with the bouquet.

The wedding guests applauded as the sister burst into tears.

The bride accompanied the video with a touching statement, thanking her elder sister for her constant support

In her words:

“My Elder sis my biggest supporter. I pray God Almighty blesses you with a man worth your beautiful heart. You are so rare.”

 

See video below:

 

7 INSIGHT ON COURTSHIP MEANING

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courtship meaning

The important courtship meaning

 

Courtship meaning

Many people do think that courtship is only a media for

fornication(sin) but I will not disagree with that

but I will still say a little No to that. Courtship is not only a media

for fornication, it is also a media where two adults come together

to understand each other and know what they need to know

before getting marry.

Courtship is like a school.

Many divorce homes these days are related to the absent of courtship,

some will say it was love at first sight so

I couldn’t wait than to make her my own, my parent said it was a

good family to marry from, our parents

were friends, she is smart and intelligent, she was the most

beautiful in college, he was the most

handsome in college, he has muscles, our church was against it etc.

Was that the only reason we end up in marriage?

What if some years later things start changing, she is no more

that beautiful as at in college? What if he

stopped working out to keep himself really physically fit anymore?

What if your parents later have issues and misunderstanding set

in and they break their friendship?

What will be the outcome of all these questions?

Don’t marry someone with condition attached to it, because one

day, when that condition that made

you to love nor accept to be the person’s partner disappeared,

then marriage will end up becoming a battle field or a grave yard

in which everywhere is silent and if care is not taken, it will open

ways to divorce. from courtship meaning, we can now talk on;

— REASONS WHY COURTSHIP IS IMPORTANT BEFORE

MARRIAGE

 

  1. YOU WILL GET TO KNOW THE PERSON A LITTLE BIT

 

  • You will know if he/she is a human at day and something
  • else at night.

 

  • You will get to know the kind of food he/she likes and the one which he dislikes.

 

  • You will get to know his sleeping position.

 

  • You will get to know if he snug at night if you can deal with.

 

  • Is he a bully

 

  • Is he a hot temper?

 

  • How he reacts to issues that arises.

 

  1. YOU WILL GET TO KNOW HIS FRIENDS

 

  • Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.

 

  • Are his/her friend’s responsible kind of people

 

  • Can you deal with his friends around?

 

  • Are they compatible

 

  • Will you be able to be free with them i.e. (will you take them as your own friends too)

 

 

 

  1. WHAT HE DOES

 

  • His job

 

  • What he/she does for fun

 

  • What he uses his time to do

 

  • How serious he is with what he does.

 

 

  1. THE FAMILY HE/SHE IS FROM

 

  • The kind of blood that flows in him

 

  • His behavior with the family (the way he treats his family can also determine the way he

 

treats you.)

 

  • His background/ past

 

  • The way his family treats and take people

 

  • The religious

 

  1. ROMANTIC

Remember that someone being romantic doesn’t only have to do with the bedroom.

 

You can have fun with someone without having sex with the person. Example of romantic

 

moments are:

 

  1. Cooking together

 

  1. Pillow fight

 

  • Working out together not only at night

 

  1. Chatting with each other even while sitting together.

 

  1. Texting him/her reminding him how handsome he is and how beautiful she is and how you

 

are privilege to have him/her as your fiancée

 

— THINKS TO LOOK FOR:

  • The way he/she behaves when he is with you

 

  • His speech (the way he/she talks matters a lot. In fact, the

way people look at you is also

 

determine by the words that comes out from your mouth when

you speak) so mind

 

your words.

 

  • His sense of humor

 

  1. DRESSING CODE

 

  • Can you deal with his sense of dressing?

 

  • Does he know color combination?

 

  • Does he/she dress to your taste

 

  • Is he a suit type or a casual dressing type?

 

  • Does he know what kind of shoes to use when he dresses to an important occasion.

 

 

 

  1. SENSE OF REASONING

 

  • Does he/she reason things the way you do.

 

  • Do argument sets in in every discussion you are trying to initiate

 

  • Does he reason with his head or with his hands?

 

  • Is he a grow up or still a kid?

 

  • How serious is he/she when you talk about your relationship?

NOTE all these are part of the things you watch out while in courtship not until when you

are married.

Once you are married, you both belong to each other but in courtship, you can deal with

what needs to be deal with in and on time.

If there is no regret during courtship, there will be regret in marriage, all you have to do

is to keep your home both physically and spiritually fit.

—- THINGS NOT ADVISABLE TO DO IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY

 

  1. Don’t get married to someone you don’t love just because all your friends are married.

 

  1. Don’t marry someone because of his/her wallet.

 

  1. Don’t marry someone due to depression

 

  1. Don’t marry someone just because you think that’s the only solution to insults

 

  1. Don’t marry someone just because you worship in the same ministry

 

  1. Don’t marry someone just for family reputation.

 

  1. Don’t marry someone just because mummy says so.

 

  1. Don’t marry someone just for political pursuit.

 

  1. Don’t marry because of what you see because in months or years later, you will start seeing

 

what you didn’t see back then.

 

  1. Don’t marry because dad made a promise to his/her family when you were born that you are destined for each other. It is only God that writes destiny.
  1. Don’t force someone to marry you. Even if he/she loves you. (love doesn’t keep marriage but understanding does)

 

  1. Don’t marry a bulling.

 

NOTE THIS (courtship meaning) Marriage is to be enjoy and not to be endured Don’t

endure while you are dying within you, just because you don’t

want your marriage to scatter or your friends/ people to

gossip about it, you now decide to endure it.

Marriage is not all about endurance perhaps for how long will you

continue to endure nor keep up the act that your marriage is okay.

It is until it kills you? If you have made this mistake and

 

maybe it I hunting you now, seek for a counselor, if you can convince your partner to join you, then you do.

Pour out your heart let him/her get to know your pains and the

trauma he/she have put you through.

Then if change occur good, but if after everything no change.

Then I will say “FOLLOW YOUR HEART” Be wise.

marrying the wrong person is not one of the mistake you should

plan to make in life.

Read more

11 Tools that can spice up intimacy in your relationship

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intimacy

Why intimacy dies in marriages

Intimacy matters in a relationship building…

It is obvious that most times, you will see a  two- three years marriages scattering every year because of one thing or the other and in this kind of situation no one knows who is at fault and with that it results in  wife pointing a finger at the husband and the husband pointing at the wife and they end up blaming one another as if blames can settle a case in a home.

You will also see another home being together for fourth plus something years, some fifty etc still as fresh as when they newly got married.

Now what’s the difference between that, does it mean that the other home is not as rich as this one that’s why their marriage is scattering?

No, is not…

N/B First of all, you got to remember why you got married to the person in the first place, what attracted you to the person etc.

1) Most marriages scattered because of lack of intimacy:

  • Showering Together: when you and your spouse were in courtship, you were not ashamed to

take your bath with him in fact, you enjoyed it because you felt like you and your man were

couples already.

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP TIPS

  • Cooking Together: anytime she is in the kitchen you enjoyed hanging around the kitchen even

when match was about to start, you still went there not as if you can cook but just to disturb

her and in the process, she will carry spoon and start chasing you around the kitchen, pursuing

you to leave the kitchen and you two will be laughing and having fun.

  • Laundry: you do laundry together most time if she is busy with other things or she is not w
  • ell,

you helped her with the laundry including washing her undies.  You told her I love you and

don’t worry babe rest today I will do the chores. And she smiled at you and said you are the

best I love you more.

  • Dinner: Even when there was food in the house, you two still decides to eat your dinner outside

not because the food in the house was not well prepared but because you two just wanted to

spend the night together.

  • Dressing: Before you married him, you used to wear trousers, make your hair, dress decent and

look attractive.  Many guys fell on your feet just to get your attention and some just to be your

friends.

Your social media was full with admirer and about 1000+ friend requests still piling up waiting for

respond and you felt like a celebrity. He became so jealous that he thinks that if he wastes time from

putting a ring on that finger, he will lose you and he couldn’t bear seeing you in the arms of another man

even without opening up to you.

But what later happen after marriage??

After marriage you started carrying the mind set of what am I looking for again? After all, am not looking

for a husband. with that mindset,

you changed, you no longer wear trousers, making your hair is a problem to you, dress smartly no way.

Instead you start becoming close friend with your wrapper, morning, afternoon and night.

When they see your wrapper, they can see you because one cannot leave the other because of the

bonding. Did he get married to his granny or a young lady?

 

  • You no longer shower together because you think that he will take an advantage of you in the shower.

But let me ask, during courtship didn’t he still take advantage of you??  Now you are marriage to the

same man you don’t think that there is a need to continue giving him the advantage.

  • while she is busy in the kitchen, you are either busy watching match or pressing your phone in

the living room, you no longer enter the kitchen to keep her company, you no longer play

around the house like kids anymore because of maturity

Note: there is no maturity in marriage.

As long as you want to maintain the intimacy you once

established through these tools, you have to pour even more fuel to it.

One thing about marriages is that during this period, is the time

you two have in straightening your marriage in terms of intimacy.

 

Stopping will only bring damages to your home making your home unhealthy.

why you should use romantic words

 

More tools that you need in keeping your home healthy

  • PRAYER

 

  • PATIENCE

 

  • UNDERSTANDING

 

  • COMMUNICATION

 

  • CHECKING ON EACH OTHER maybe through text, videos/voice calls.

 

  • AVOIDING BAD COMPANY

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13 POSITIVE QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE MARRIAGE TO AVOID DIVORCE

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questions to ask before marriage

 Questions To Ask Before Marriage

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There are things every single should know and questions to ask before marriage which is very important before getting or even thinking of getting married.

But first of all, before we start talking about the things every single should know, let’s talk about marriage. Are you with me?

 

Okay let’s continue,what is marriage?  Marriage is a constitution between two people from different background coming together in holy matrimony.

Marriage as a venue, is where learning isn’t really welcome but a place where you put all that you learnt into action to make things work around your home.

So before thinking of marriage, first ask yourself, what have I accomplished on my own? What am I going into my new home with, am I going in empty handed?

Note this, 80% of every spouse who goes into his/her matrimony home empty, hardly have respect nor a voice.

Am I wrong? Now I ask again, what have you accomplished.? Thinking of marriage is not wrong, but first of all, try working on who you are. before talking on questions to ask before marriage, let’s first of all look into;

THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW; (questions to ask before marriage)

 

relationship with God
Relationship with God

  1. Your Relationship with God:

    your number one priority as a single individual is your relationship with God. Am I saying that when you are married that you don’t pray? No, what am saying is that, the way you fellowship with God now is different from the way you fellowship with Him when you are married with kids.

This is a time to allow God into every part of your life not only the part you want Him to see, to break you, rebuild you and mold you to how He wants you to    become.

study
what women are like.
  1. Study how a woman behaves: To my brothers, if you don’t know what to do or what it means when a woman is quiet or how to handle a woman when she is low or high, then you are not ready for marriage. Mark my words. Use your mother, sisters or girlfriend as an example in your case study.
plans
plans
  1. Plan Towards the future: How is your relationship with children? What do you think makes them happy? You got to know all that before even thinking of getting married.

It is terrible for you to stay alive and your child wishes you were dead. Or wishes he or she was born to another woman/ man like you. As a woman, it is not a taboo if you try putting things down with your pen and work towards achieving that vision. it helps build respect and self worth.

 

  1. Domestic Insight: Being a slay Queen will not solve this one My sister, have domestic skills before even thinking of becoming a married woman.

===questions to ask before marriage

Did I say you should become a chef? No, but you need to learn how to first of all, keep yourself clean, your home, that includes kitchen, bedroom, sitting room, bath/toilet, the surrounding etc..

It is either you are in or you are out. And the worst part is that you will not only lose your home to a strange woman from outside but an insider which maybe your house help.

new things
Self improvement
  1. Improve yourself: Don’t be a boring fellow, try and make your life interesting in a way that pleases God, that people who comes around you would want to stay not coming in and stepping out.

 

While waiting for marriage, learn new things, it can be a skill, trade etc, engage yourself in activities, Church activities, seminars, read books that will help you in self-improvement etc don’t expect marriage from every single man that tries coming close to you, because you will scare them away and that’s desperation.

 

You just have to wait upon the Lord before you rush and miss what God had planned for you.

 

Let your physical appearance speak a clear language to people concerning you. i.e. don’t be 23, 24, 25 etc. but your appearance is speaking 32, 34, 35 etc. 30 Relationship advice for men and 20 relationship advice for women

treasure
Value

 

  1. Value comes before treasure: if you don’t learn to value what you have, you can’t treasure it. Perhaps, your heart lies where your treasure is.

Value yourself, your family, your friends etc. don’t live I don’t care kind of life because it won’t help you in the quest of getting marry.

 

  1. Study life: Life is full of so many things, you cannot discover these things if you don’t study and have some experience in life.

 

How will you train a kid or rebuke a kid if you have no experience about life itself? So you have to prepare yourself for what you want to become.

communication
Communication

 

  1. How to communicate: It is said “communication is the key”. And you can only learn how to communicate and interact with people while you are still young, single. Learn how to listen, talk without making sounds and also understand reactions.

 

Learning how to communicate when you marry may not help your marriage.

You want to know why?  You are your spouse partner in dealing with people. as a wife or a husband, if you did not learn reactions without words, you may not understand when your husband needs your backup in a discussion with friends or when he or she needs your help in stopping a communication on subject she has no interest on or she is bored with.

 

Also, it is just like applying for a secretary job before even knowing what is involved in being a secretary.

 

  1. Learn how to tolerate people: when you are married as a woman or a man, you will see different kinds of people with different kind of drama, from different background.

 

Some will be coming to run your home for you, some will be coming to spoil it for you, some will stay as commentators, spectators etc watching.  If you never learn how to tolerate or handle such people while you were alone or while you were preparing for marriage, my dear, you won’t be able to deal with it now.

 

  1. Have a biological knowledge of sex: when I say biological knowledge of sex, I mean have an insight what sexual satisfaction is all about and why it is necessary in marriage. You can learn that by reading books, a marriage counselor, or a medical practitioner. 3 VIEWS ABOUT SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE

 

  1. Learn how to do multitasking: As a girl or lady, learn how to wash dishes while putting food on fire, learn how to sweep the floor while boiling water, etc. when you learn how to do these things, you will be able to handle your kids especially in the morning while preparing them for school.

 

===questions to ask before marriage

  1. Have a pre-medical knowledge: having a pre-medical knowledge is a good start in raising a family. Is not every headache, pains, stomach egg etc. that you should make a big deal out of it.

 

With a pre-medical knowledge, you will know some few first aid treatment to give to your kids or husband when temperature is high and when to use a paracetamol.

 

  1. Domestic security: It has to do with your dealing in the house especially at night, in your kitchen etc. be alert, put things in places it should be, before you go to bed, lock your doors, light out, kitchen running tap off, electrical sockets off etc.

Doing these few things while at your mother’s house, your own house etc. can help you to be domestic alert even when you get married.

 

  1. Improve your vocabulary: Some ladies can be so abusive, and they need to work on that before even thinking of getting married to a responsible man. Using words like why are you behaving so foolish, are you that stupid etc. is like a slap to a man’s face.

 

  1. learn about people’s culture: learning about other’s people culture I better than planning to adopt to it when you are married into it. Learning it now before saying yes I do, is the right stage to know if you can fit in, or you can’t.

 

 

  1. Learn to adopt, adjust and give respect to other people’s hobby: How do you react when your brother’s are watching football in the living room while you had a program you needed to watch by that same time? And vice versa, this will help you on how to handle such, when you are married.

 

  1. Learn to respect people’s privacy: respecting people’s privacy will help you in sustaining your life time on earth. There are things you will see in people’s phone that if not taken care of, it can result in heart attack. Learn to knock before entering someone’s house, room etc.

=== questions to ask before marriage

QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE MARRIAGE

In marriage, love is not always enough, marriage has to do with commitment and compromises etc. that’s where questions to ask before marriage comes in.

  1. How is your relationship with God and people around you?
  2. why do i want to marry?
  3. Do you want to have kids?
  4. How many kids do you want to have?
  5.  Can i adjust or fit into this man/woman’s kind of life?
  6. Am i taking the right step?
  7. Is God behind this marriage?
  8. Am i rushing?
  9.  When i start having kids, my body will change, am i ready for this change?
  10. If conflict arises as a man/woman, will i be able to handle it without involving my mum?
  11. what qualities does he/she has that makes me want to marry this person?
  12. What is his background like both spiritually and other wise.?
  13. Can i maintain this relationship I’m starting both with the family?

These are the few questions to ask before marriage

9 signs he wants you in his future

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SHOULD MARRY ME OR YOU LET ME GO 1 to end

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marry me

MUST MARRY ME

Conviction is a firmly held belief, it is the state of being convinced. conviction can make you achieved anything you want if you really want it. conviction makes relationship to work.
I had a strong conviction that I will spent all the hours of my marriage days in a arm of a tall, gentle , caring, soft tone and energetic guy.

This believes didn’t waste time in forcing me to connect my emotion to it when I first meet Mike. God, the master designer, has equipped in me a fundamental instinct that always draws me to my desire in life. This sense of potential being realized is more fulfilling than any paycheck.

I was so into him and with my desperation for marriage gives me the feeling of fitting in, like a piece in a puzzle, to form a happy home and that should begin like right now, I let go my feminine decorum and i said to him, will you marry me? with my confidence that he was deep into me too, i felt accepted already, the smile that plastered allover my face showed i was happy.

But he said, Babe see I know you love me and i love you too but, immediately i heard the but”, i already knew what respond i was expecting, i quickly told him not to worry about money that I have 17,000 dollars from my late father’s foreign trust fund, at lease we can start with that. I was stain with a compulsory fever when he said but the problem is that am not ready for something so serious not to talk of marriage. Oh my God, i wasn’t really expecting this particular respond.

So, for eight(8) good years of relationship, he wasn’t still ready for a serious relationship? then what were we even doing? are you kidding me? Did i just waste eight years of my life with a man i thought i was seeing a future with. Hell no, I have to set things right, It is either you tell me when you will be ready to marry me or i walk out for good. I quickly lost the satisfaction of my innate gifts of conviction that always serve as a decision making contribution to my world.

Marry me or you let me go

Now, you may be wondering what happen and how the hell did i get myself mixed up in this…. well i will tell you.
It all started some years back at high school, i was loved by almost all and with that, my level and pride was beyond my control. Still 80% of students didn’t mind my pride they all wanted being my friends.

But one thing they didn’t know was that, i didn’t like making friends with people who rush me instead with people who open up to me and also with people who don’t care about my present in class or at the field.
But there was this guy i couldn’t get off my mind. His name was Mike.

Mike, was a transfer student, tall, huge and cute. Because of his physical look, he was also loved by many.
One day, while at the laboratory, Mike walked up to me, and said Hi,
I didn’t respond, because i wasn’t moved… Pause… Do you really think i didn’t respond and i wasn’t moved?
lol.. of course i responded, that was my chance and i couldn’t let it pass me by. but with my high self esteemed, i was able to compose myself so has not to embarrass myself.

We exchange contact, next usernames before you know it we became good friends…
We are perfect right? I am popular and loved by many and likewise him… Well i thought so too, Mike was just a person to me but also the place were I discover the direction of the steaming engine of my heart but i was wrong.
Through out our high school and college, we were together, we were like a couple already, our relationship was no more a secret.

Marry me or you let me go

After college, I started working in one of the IT company in Singapore, he started his own modeling company, i wasn’t against it at first but in the process of being famous, associating with many celebrities, he completely changed.

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I didn’t know the man i was living with anymore, every communication we had, always result in a fight, i no more had his attention anymore because he was always with his phone even while at the dinning unlike before.
When i complained to him about his sudden changes since he became famous, he was really mad, he thought i wasn’t happy for his success but i was… all i wanted was his attention, affection and love. Or was that too much to asked.

Then i realized i wasn’t married, that my happiness was in my hands. So i started going out with friends, colleague at work, i engaged myself in many things just to be myself.
One day, I got home around 11:30pm, i was tired because of the drink and fun i had with my friends after work, when i got home, he was right there at the sitting room waiting for my arrival.

Why are you back by this time of the night and who is the guy that dropped you? I was boiling inside, but i kept mute when i realized that he was getting jealous. I smile and then went straight to bed.
Around 7am in the morning, someone tried waking me up, when i finally woke up, guess who it was? Mike right beside the side of my bed with a cup of coffee for me…. could you believe that?

Good morning Sunshine, he said, Oh my God, was i dreaming, i had to close my eyes and opened truly it wasn’t a dream. i was surprise but i said Good morning. I quickly realized that the most fulfilled, confident people live their lives in the very midst of it, just as I was waking up to see myself inside another dream.

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He started apologizing for his cold behavior towards me for the past months, of course i was waiting for this day, but i knew that i had no right in his life yet, that’s when the idea came in.
Right there, I witness the restoration of my conviction, but how could I define this second phase of it? Am sure convictions are the products of what we have and what we want to have. They are the inner vehicles driving us from where we are to where we want to go.

I turned around and said to him, then let’s get married, he said eh…. i could hear his heart beat but i didn’t mind, i was now desperate to have full right in his life, with all my friends getting married and my family and friends asking me to leave him and get married, well, i was still deeply into him and i wasn’t ready to give up on what we shared so i pressed forward…but when should I let such a creative and resourceful spirit in the image of man slip away from my hand, what will I tell my conviction at the end?

Marry me or you let me go

Will you marry me? i said to him again this time in a well understanding and arranged matter. But he turned me down, because he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship yet, which means since high school and even eight years after college, a good job and good life, we weren’t still serious.
i was so angry with the respond that i had to move out from his life, thanks to my friends, they never allow me to be by myself since i left Mike, i was so heart broken.

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But the advise i got from Prof. Wilcox, a family psychologist kept me going, “Don’t waste your life on someone who don’t value nor deserve it. It is your happiness not theirs”, allow yourself to feel feelings, but don’t become your feelings. Find a support system exercise, cut off from what sucked, don’t judge the length of your healing process, take care of yourself. When i remember this, i said to myself, Am living well, am beautiful, intelligent, smart etc then what and why am i wasting my tears on a man.

Five months later, i went to south Africa on a business trip with my boss, we were to open a new branch there, during our stay flight section on air, i meant this guy Usanele, a tall, gentle, melody tune and muscular guy seating right next to me, smiling at me, he seems to be interested in the NEWYOLK TIMES magazine I was reading but of course I know men with their tricks. Love is a

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feeling that expresses itself in action. What we really feeling is reflected in what we do.

Usan. and i became friends, suddenly I noticed a soft breeze in my head, I quickly close my eyes to pick up what it was, behold it was my conviction again telling me yes yes yes this is the man. A year later, we got married. two years later, Mike came back looking so important, destiny fulfilled yet leaving the confines of his conventional cave and entering the space where his heart longs to reside and that place was me.

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I almost fainted seeing Mike on his knees asking to marry me but it was too late, I have already witness that once we embrace the conviction of identity, we understand why we were shaped and designed. We realize why we are rejected in other places and accepted in new places. Mike am sorry, its too late ,perhaps, i was happily married with a baby boy.

thanks for reading must marry me or you let me go

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Couple Questions: 6 Reasons Why The Wrong Couple Still Exist Now

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who can marry you

Couple Questions: Why Do We Have Unhappy Couple

Before you think of getting married to that beautiful lady, handsome man, there is always something you need to do to avoid mistakes, there are some of the couple questions you need to ask yourself before a step into a home.

Many homes are destroyed and divorce today because of avoiding those things they were to considered before becoming a couple.

Marriage is a beautiful thing, is like heaven on earth, seeing yourself with your kids, and husband/wife, but it is like hell when you are with the wrong person who wasn’t made for you. 

Don’t be too carried away because you want to get married, that’s why in this article, I will be giving you some important couple questions in which you need to sit down and think about them before saying “Yes I do”

Below are some of the couple questions you need to ask;

  1. VISION: When we go for a man with television and leave

a man with a vision there is a possibility of marrying the wrong

person. But still, that doesn’t mean that it is taboo for a man

with a vision to also get a television.

Don’t use that as an excuse to cage someone’s daughter in

perpetual poverty just because you have a vision that made

never manifests because you do nothing about it. If you have a

vision, work on it in and on time not until when she leaves you

your eye now open. (and please if you don’t work on the vision

you have while she is still with you and after some years of her

spending with you and she now decides to move on, please don’t

call her a hole digger because no one is in love with poverty.

As a lady, is that the kind of man you want? If you are not sure, sit down with him, bring out some of the couple questions and let him tell you his plans, if it is in line with yours, then you should know what next to do in other to grow together.

  1. SEX: Yes, I said it. when sex is too early and nice we think

that’s it we are sexually satisfied we don’t care about any other

thing outside that.

Sex makes a GMR – Genetically Modified Relationship, early

maturing… Instead of thinking about how to make the

relationship better, we start thinking of how to make the next sex

escapade better. we don’t check other aspects if the man is good

for a life partner instead we check if he is good in bed.

If Se* is not really why you want to get married, then ask yourself some of the couple questions like; After marrying him or her, will I have happiness and enjoy my marriage, or will it only be when we are in the bedroom?

couple questions
Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com
  1. MONEY:

Even the scripture says; “the love of money is the root of evil or

maybe even route to all evil”…

Money is a spirit and it can make us become a couple with evil, wrong people.

For example: when a guy has money, different kinds of ladies are

attracted to him including snakes and with that, he will be

confused about who to marry. He will start seeing the decent ladies

has so straight.

In the manner, when a lady has money, some good guys with low

self-esteem get scared of her because of her wealth…

And with that, she only ends up with chaps with nothing to offer

except for their funny English accent…

With too much money it is difficult to make a great choice when it

comes to marriage.

Too much money gives you too much access to the wrong chaps…

And if you are not careful, you end up marrying a cadre. By the

way, cadres are always up for sale to the highest bidder.

Ask yourself a couple of questions; am I marrying for love or for money? If you have peace of mind after this, then you can decide what next to do.

Never marry for money, because one day, you might regret it.

  1. CHURCH:

In the circular world, it is said you are allowed to kiss a

few frogs before you meet your prince or princess charming.

But many churches do not tolerate this. If you keep changing partners, it leads to immorality.

So with this, you are compelled to stick with one church member even without the atom of love just because of fear of what the members will say, you keep faking to be a happy couple.

He could be prayerful and a candidate for heaven, yes, but marrying them, you start experiencing hell on earth.

Just because he or she can speak in tongues does not mean that

they know how to speak to a partner.

At the time, is because you don’t want to disappoint papa, even without knowing if papa will disapprove the union if you go to him but because of fear, you stay

and end up marrying the wrong person.

The Couple questions: Am I in control of my home or the church? Is it through God’s will? Lord if it is your will, speak to me. Have you ever been asked him to show you a sign before? If not, this is the right time to do that.

  1. PHYSICAL ATTRACTION:

many people lose out because of this point. they want people

with class, people with high profiles, they end rejecting the good

ones because they are busy looking for chaps.

Going for a shining star is not taboo but when you are looking

for it in the wrong place and at the wrong time is the case.

Are you looking for hips, six-pack? Don’t let those hips deceive

you, don’t let that six-pack cheat you…

There is more to marriage than slay king, slay Queen.

Beauty becomes an added advantage when you marry the right person.

But the chap you married because of beauty, becomes a beast. (the couple is warned)..

A couple of questions: Does his or her looks speak the same as his heart? Does he have a beautiful heart just like his physical looks?

group of people making toast
Photo by fauxels on Pexels.com
  1. FAMILY FRIENDS AND RELATIVES:

In a family, there is always that  one aunt or uncle from the

the village who thinks they know better who we  should marry; “no,

you can’t marry that tribe.. no you can’t marry someone with

such a career,  Iyammi ami udotto (that one doesn’t suit you)”.

And before we know it, we are choosing and marrying for our

the family instead of doing it for ourselves. Some of us are in the wrong

relationships right now because our friends told us that another guy

was not cool enough.

We had no idea what they meant but we listened to them… And

now we are dating and almost marrying the wrong person just

because we had no courage to stand on our own decision, we

allow our friends to decide for us which at times 30% was a good

advice while 70% is wrong. choose who to couple with wisely.

A couple of questions: If this marriage is a wrong choice, who is going to face the trauma? Is it going to be my home that I will have a voice or is it going to be run by our parents in which they will almost all the decisions for you?

Don’t make the mistake of ending up with the wrong person because you will not like the taste of it.

I wish you a blessed home indeed.

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UK will humble you” – Nigerian man says as he backs his child while wife is at work

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Screenshot 20221003 185614

A UK-based Nigerian man has being trending on social media after he shared a photo of him backing his child while his wife went to work according to the man, he stated that he never saw himself doing this back home.

 

The Benin-born man said that since moving to the United Kingdom with his family, he has had to humble himself and take on the responsibility of nursing their baby while his wife is at work. 1664818616599

 

Taking to his Twitter handle, he discussed that the roles of a father and mother in Nigeria, and not necessarily so in the United Kingdom.

 

Sharing a funny photo of himself backing their daughter, the man noted that he never thought a day would come when he would be the one babysitting their child while his wife worked.

 

While sharing the photos of himself and his wife he wrote

If anyone had told me I will back a baby I will say is a lie… Well Bini man carry baby for back while madam went to work… UK will loyal you

 

See post 

 

https://twitter.com/Osagiemerry/status/1576280145735737344?t=rFDWjgFn9qTKhVUg422KIw&s=19

 

What do you have to say Concerning this article share your opinion with us via the comments section.

 

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• No man has ever asked me out Nigerian lady living in UK for 7 years cries out.